How EMDR Therapy Works: A Guide to Processing Trauma & Anxiety
How EMDR Therapy Works: A Guide to Processing Trauma & Anxiety
Have you ever said to yourself, “I know why I do this ________* but how do I actually fix it?”
*(Insert frustrating pattern you keep repeating: Maybe it’s people-pleasing until you burn out, having the same relationship issues over and over, or that familiar shut down response when life gets overwhelming.)
Maybe you know logically that these patterns do not make sense in the present, but the cycle keeps repeating.
No matter how hard you try to outwork yourself (achievement might fix this, right?) or push thoughts away, you are unable to cope with intense emotions, feel stuck with spiraling thoughts, or have painful memories on repeat.
Unresolved Trauma Shows Up As:
Physical Tension: A tightening chest or racing heart, even when things seem "fine."
Unrelenting Emotions: Persistent feelings of shame, guilt, or unexplained anger.
Stuck Relationships: Feeling disconnected or withdrawn from others.
Negative Beliefs: A loud inner critic saying "I'm not enough" or “I’m a failure” despite your success.
Why Talk Therapy Can Fall Short
As an EMDR therapist, I consistently hear clients struggle not with what they understand logically, but with what FEELS true.
Traditional talk therapy is helpful, but some feel its limitations to unlock stuck patterns.
Logic vs. Feeling : Your prefrontal cortex (logic) shuts down when your amygdala (survival) takes over during past traumatic experiences. This leaves logic and emotion fragmented, even years later.
Time Doesn’t Always Heal: Patterns are often stored as “body memories” that are more automatic and unconscious reactions. It is commonly said that PTSD and CPTSD are the past and present confused.
Disconnected Processing: You can understand something trauma intellectually while your nervous system in still on alert for danger or having the rug pulled out from under you again.
How EMDR Helps Your Brain Heal
EMDR helps to process past distressing experiences. Your brain knows how to adapt and make new connections. EMDR helps unlock your brain’s natural way of healing.
EMDR happens in phases:
Preparation (Building Your Toolbox): Your therapist will help you build tools for emotional regulation within the safety of the therapeutic relationship through tools like deep breathing, safe place, or containment. It is important to build security with the therapist and establish tools to help you with regulation between sessions.
Planning (Finding the Thread): Your therapist will help you find the “thread” of what you are currently struggling with what is connected to the past. You may already know exactly what traumatic event you need to process (a death, assault, abuse, etc.) or it may be more unknown to you (your therapist will help guide this).
Processing (Rewiring Your Brain): Through bilateral stimulation like tapping, handheld buzzers, or eye movements, your brain will process by focusing attention on what you feel and notice. Your therapist guides you through the memory but you will stay in the driver’s seat the whole time. With each “target memory” you will be able to move from stuck, triggered, and shut-down to being able to think of a memory without your body being activated or triggered.
By using bilateral stimulation (like tapping or eye movements), we purposefully tax your working memory. This dual-task process makes it harder for the brain to hold onto the full, painful intensity of the memory, allowing the emotional charge to drop so you can finally process the event without being overwhelmed.
Healing from long-standing patterns is hard work. If reading this made you feel a sense of relief—or even a little bit of “that’s so me”—know that you don't have to figure this out alone.
Ready to take the next step? Here is how we start:
Schedule a Consultation: Click the button below to find a time for a free, 15-minute phone call.
Connect: We’ll talk briefly about what you’re looking for and see if we’re a good fit.
Begin Your Journey: We’ll schedule your first intake session and start building your custom EMDR plan with a compassionate guide to experience emotional stability, confidence, and authentic relationships.